December 21, 2011....
Roads are crowded, weather is horrible, people seem to be in an ill mood. Have to hurry to make sure that they have the last item checked off of their shopping list before the 25th.
I think the changes in my family this year have really made me look at Christmas more like Thanksgiving. Maybe because we were still sort of turned upside down at the real Thanksgiving this year. All I know is that I am Blessed and thankful that...
God sent His son to be born to live here on earth and then die for our sins
I have family and friends that love me
I have everything that I need
I have a church family that loves me and prays for me
I am able to live without being in pain (spinal cord stimulator)
I live in a country where I am free to celebrate the birth of my Savior
I can worship God and speak of Him openly
So Happy Birthday Jesus and Merry Thanksgivmas!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Faith
There are people being kidnapped there
There are people killing their own children here.
There is civil unrest there,
Wallstreet here.
There are terrorist threats there,
Drunk drivers here.
There are children here that need help,
Yes, and we help them too.
They don't even believe in God,
They just don't know Him yet.
You are inviting trouble,
I am following God's will
You are not thinking this thru,
I have Faith. I know that God will see us thru this.
You could die,
I can share God's love.
You are not being realistic,
I choose to have Faith
There are people killing their own children here.
There is civil unrest there,
Wallstreet here.
There are terrorist threats there,
Drunk drivers here.
There are children here that need help,
Yes, and we help them too.
They don't even believe in God,
They just don't know Him yet.
You are inviting trouble,
I am following God's will
You are not thinking this thru,
I have Faith. I know that God will see us thru this.
You could die,
I can share God's love.
You are not being realistic,
I choose to have Faith
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Love
John 1:1-5 states
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome[a] it.
I like to replace the word Word with Love. In the beginning was Love, and the Love was with God, and the Love was God. What better explanation could there be? God is Love. Share God with others - as He shared His love, Jesus Christ, with us. Jesus stated that no one comes to the Father except thru him, Love. And what did He leave us with? Love. The Holy Spirit within us, Love. Guess the Beatles had it right all along....
Monday, October 31, 2011
Put Your Faith To Work
That has been the topic of my daily devotion for 4 days.Saturday a BBQ customer asked about CRASH. I couldn't remember all of the letters so I called Justin over and he told the story about the Rhino and their ability to only see 30 feet in front of them and the ability to hit top speed of 30 or 35 miles an hour. Choices Relationships Adventure Salvation Hope. Sunday our sermon is on what we are suppose to do for God. I start reading my lesson for next Sunday and it is about being a servant of God. Moses being told he was the one to lead his people out of Egypt. Strange how the Lord talks to us.
I know now more than ever that I am being called to Africa. Don't know how I'm going to pay my way but I have faith that if God is calling me to go, He will get me there. I know this because of the Relationship I have with my Father. It's me making the Choice to listen to what God is telling me and to obey. As Christians we are to love, worship, and tell the world about Jesus. Tell the world....I'm up for an Adventure to Kenya. If God can love me and all of my imperfections, there is Hope for everyone. Salvation is a gift waiting for everyone! What a better story to want to share.
I keep getting stuck on the Why(s) and How(s). Why me? Why Africa? How am I to pay for this? How can I teach anyone else anything about God?
Then today I was reminded of the answer. When Moses asked "Who am I that I should go..." The Lord answered " I will certainly be with you." Later He tells Moses to tell them "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say.....I AM has sent me to you."(Exodus 3:11-14) Well - there you have it. I am to go to Africa and tell whoever I see that the great I AM has sent me. And what has he sent me for? To Worship, tell the world about Jesus, and LOVE God and each other.
How simple is that! What a GREAT last couple of days I have had. I love that God is speaking to me thru everyone I know. Reminding me that if I have faith in HIM, everything is possible!
Live Simply, Love Generously, Care Deeply, Speak Kindly, Leave the rest to God...Have a good week ya'll!
I know now more than ever that I am being called to Africa. Don't know how I'm going to pay my way but I have faith that if God is calling me to go, He will get me there. I know this because of the Relationship I have with my Father. It's me making the Choice to listen to what God is telling me and to obey. As Christians we are to love, worship, and tell the world about Jesus. Tell the world....I'm up for an Adventure to Kenya. If God can love me and all of my imperfections, there is Hope for everyone. Salvation is a gift waiting for everyone! What a better story to want to share.
I keep getting stuck on the Why(s) and How(s). Why me? Why Africa? How am I to pay for this? How can I teach anyone else anything about God?
Then today I was reminded of the answer. When Moses asked "Who am I that I should go..." The Lord answered " I will certainly be with you." Later He tells Moses to tell them "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say.....I AM has sent me to you."(Exodus 3:11-14) Well - there you have it. I am to go to Africa and tell whoever I see that the great I AM has sent me. And what has he sent me for? To Worship, tell the world about Jesus, and LOVE God and each other.
How simple is that! What a GREAT last couple of days I have had. I love that God is speaking to me thru everyone I know. Reminding me that if I have faith in HIM, everything is possible!
Live Simply, Love Generously, Care Deeply, Speak Kindly, Leave the rest to God...Have a good week ya'll!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
My Romans 8:28 Story
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 NIV
We were challenged this week to pray about and share our Romans 8:28 story. Something that we went thru thinking, "how can God make any good from this situation." My story has to be my mother's story of battling cancer.
On September 11, 2006 my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon cancer with mets to the liver, spine, lung, and possibly brain. The oncologist didn't see any further need for more PET or MRI scans. He sat there and told my mother and I that with chemo treatments he could possibly giver her a few months longer than she would have without it, but that there was no medicine to heal her. She had surgery the year before to remove a tumor from her colon and the margins were all clear after surgery. She never followed up with a PET scan or any other scan. They were sure they got it all. Mom never really fully recovered from that surgery. My mother was up by 6:00am all my life and never went to bed until 11:00pm every night. She cooked a full breakfast for her family, worked in the operating room all day, came home and cooked dinner, washed clothes, helped with homework, and spent time everyday at her sewing machine. In late 2005 she was taking naps and going to bed right after work (which was now a desk job). She was an RN and smart woman. I am now convinced that she knew the cancer was never gone, but she also knew she had to prepare us for life without her soon. She decided in August 2006 that it was time to hear someone tell her what she already knew in her heart - that she was dying.
In my family I have always been the emotional one and the worrier. So my family decided not to tell me that my mother had Stage 4 Cancer because they just knew that it might be the end of me. My mother, even though we argued often (we are too much alike) was my best friend. I could tell in her voice everyday that there was something not right. I finally left my office one day and confronted her sister, who told me the truth. Well, I fell apart right there in my Aunt Jeannette's office. Fall to my knees, uncontrollable sobbing. I have no idea how long I cried on that floor, but I do know that they had to shut two office doors because I could be heard down the hall.
Now I had to confront my mother. When I told her that I knew I did cry, but just the tears running down the face kind without the snubbing. I told her that I would honor all of her wishes for treatment or no treatment and that I wanted to be the one to take care of her. That I was strong enough to do it, that I would not fall apart or run away.
Over the next 3 months I took mom to her chemo appointments and helped her on the weekends. I also went to a Bible Study at Ebenezer Baptist Church on Grief and Loss. Yes, I know my mother was still alive, but knew what was ahead and I had to figure out why God was letting my mother slowly fade away from us. By Christmas mom was yellow from the liver damage but still able to get up Christmas morning with us all there. It was a bittersweet day, because we all knew that it would be our last Christmas with mom here on earth. New Years came and went and mom was no better, but no worse. The chemo was taking more of a toll each treatment. Can remember what day it was in January but mom actually asked me if I knew anyone that could get her some marijuana. She said non of the anti nausea were working and she had heard that marijuana helped some people. So yes, I found my mother some pot. I knew it wouldn't kill her and if it made her feel a little better, good! Those were some funny days. I would call her from work to check on her and she would say she really didn't feel "funny" but she sure was hungry. I just laughed and took her whatever it was she had a taste for.
February 13, 2007. Mom had, what we found out later to be, her last doctor's appointment. She had decided to stop chemo, went by the bank to make sure all the loans were paid off and that my name was on her checking account, then she set off to the funeral home to pick out her own casket and plan her own funeral. She came home, sat us all down and told us what she had done. She was always the one that took care of everything in our family and this was her last (we thought) gesture as the matriarch of the family. Later we found out that she had gone thru the house and video taped EVERYTHING she owned and explained who got what and why. All we could do is watch, cry, and laugh.
February 27th was a Tuesday that year. I had been working from my mom's house for two weeks (thank God for ACS Technologies). I would go home and eat dinner with my boys, tuck Caleb in and then go back to mom's and sleep with her to make sure she didn't need anything during the night. We had oxygen for her when she needed it and although we had a bed side potty, she refused. We would get up and make the trek to the bathroom every time. The night before my sister convinced me take a break and go workout with her at the YMCA and sleep in my own bed that night. She said she was there and would call me if anything happened. When I got there the next morning my mom and dad were arguing in her bathroom. I walked in and mom was digging blood clots out of her mouth at the sink and yelling at my dad to go to work, "I'm fine, Richard!" I wish you could here her say his name....too funny!
Got mom cleaned up and back in the bed. I had to change the towel under her face often because of the amount of blood she was leaking. She wasn't coughing up blood, just leaking out of her mouth. I called her two power of attorney(s). Yes she had appointed two friends so no one in the family would have to make the decision about life support. She didn't want it and thought we would be too emotional and want her on it. They came to visit and suggested I call Hospice to come check her. That afternoon mom and I had a great talk. She wasn't scared. She was ready to go to Heaven. She wanted us to be strong and she said she would be with us always. By the time the hospice nurse got there things were bad. Mom was crawling around on the bed on her hands and knees, she wouldn't be still. We kept having to change her because of all the blood. She wouldn't take any pain medicine or anything to help calm her down. She kept telling us that this was something she had to do. We were all there, the family praying out loud for God to go ahead and take her home. Take her out of this pain and misery she physically in. She finally calmed down and laid down on her left side and told us she was going to get on the train now.
I was physically and mentally whipped. I walked out of the room to go get some air on the back porch. The nurse was there to get me only after a few minutes. When I got back to the room mom was lying, still. I crawled in the bed with her and told her it was OK. That we were all there and loved her and that it was OK for her to leave us. She gasped for a breath and said, "they're gonna let me in." She was gone...
I laid there with her for an hour. Hugging her and praying to God for him to take all the strength that she had had all her life and give it to me. They made me get up so they could clean her body up and take her away. I slept in her bed that night and it was the best sleep I had had in weeks.
I spent a long time after that being mad at God. Why my mother? Why didn't you fix her? What am I suppose to do now?
God showed me, in the summer of 2009, the answer to my why and how He worked good from my mother's death. My mom was done with what she was on this earth for. She had raised her children to be strong independent adults and seen her grandchildren born. She had given all of her love and wanted nothing in return. She had taught us all of the lessons a mom needs to teach a child. I went thru the chemo and last days of her life with her to become stronger and to have that knowledge when my friend Brooke was diagnosed with two brain tumors. I now try not to take things for granted as much and live my life with no regrets. I know that I will see mom again one day in Heaven and know that she is there with me when I need her now. I know how much more important it is to strengthen my relationship with God. I know I have to avoid the things and people that get in the way of that. Because I know He let her in, and she is there waiting on me.
We were challenged this week to pray about and share our Romans 8:28 story. Something that we went thru thinking, "how can God make any good from this situation." My story has to be my mother's story of battling cancer.
On September 11, 2006 my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon cancer with mets to the liver, spine, lung, and possibly brain. The oncologist didn't see any further need for more PET or MRI scans. He sat there and told my mother and I that with chemo treatments he could possibly giver her a few months longer than she would have without it, but that there was no medicine to heal her. She had surgery the year before to remove a tumor from her colon and the margins were all clear after surgery. She never followed up with a PET scan or any other scan. They were sure they got it all. Mom never really fully recovered from that surgery. My mother was up by 6:00am all my life and never went to bed until 11:00pm every night. She cooked a full breakfast for her family, worked in the operating room all day, came home and cooked dinner, washed clothes, helped with homework, and spent time everyday at her sewing machine. In late 2005 she was taking naps and going to bed right after work (which was now a desk job). She was an RN and smart woman. I am now convinced that she knew the cancer was never gone, but she also knew she had to prepare us for life without her soon. She decided in August 2006 that it was time to hear someone tell her what she already knew in her heart - that she was dying.
In my family I have always been the emotional one and the worrier. So my family decided not to tell me that my mother had Stage 4 Cancer because they just knew that it might be the end of me. My mother, even though we argued often (we are too much alike) was my best friend. I could tell in her voice everyday that there was something not right. I finally left my office one day and confronted her sister, who told me the truth. Well, I fell apart right there in my Aunt Jeannette's office. Fall to my knees, uncontrollable sobbing. I have no idea how long I cried on that floor, but I do know that they had to shut two office doors because I could be heard down the hall.
Now I had to confront my mother. When I told her that I knew I did cry, but just the tears running down the face kind without the snubbing. I told her that I would honor all of her wishes for treatment or no treatment and that I wanted to be the one to take care of her. That I was strong enough to do it, that I would not fall apart or run away.
Over the next 3 months I took mom to her chemo appointments and helped her on the weekends. I also went to a Bible Study at Ebenezer Baptist Church on Grief and Loss. Yes, I know my mother was still alive, but knew what was ahead and I had to figure out why God was letting my mother slowly fade away from us. By Christmas mom was yellow from the liver damage but still able to get up Christmas morning with us all there. It was a bittersweet day, because we all knew that it would be our last Christmas with mom here on earth. New Years came and went and mom was no better, but no worse. The chemo was taking more of a toll each treatment. Can remember what day it was in January but mom actually asked me if I knew anyone that could get her some marijuana. She said non of the anti nausea were working and she had heard that marijuana helped some people. So yes, I found my mother some pot. I knew it wouldn't kill her and if it made her feel a little better, good! Those were some funny days. I would call her from work to check on her and she would say she really didn't feel "funny" but she sure was hungry. I just laughed and took her whatever it was she had a taste for.
February 13, 2007. Mom had, what we found out later to be, her last doctor's appointment. She had decided to stop chemo, went by the bank to make sure all the loans were paid off and that my name was on her checking account, then she set off to the funeral home to pick out her own casket and plan her own funeral. She came home, sat us all down and told us what she had done. She was always the one that took care of everything in our family and this was her last (we thought) gesture as the matriarch of the family. Later we found out that she had gone thru the house and video taped EVERYTHING she owned and explained who got what and why. All we could do is watch, cry, and laugh.
February 27th was a Tuesday that year. I had been working from my mom's house for two weeks (thank God for ACS Technologies). I would go home and eat dinner with my boys, tuck Caleb in and then go back to mom's and sleep with her to make sure she didn't need anything during the night. We had oxygen for her when she needed it and although we had a bed side potty, she refused. We would get up and make the trek to the bathroom every time. The night before my sister convinced me take a break and go workout with her at the YMCA and sleep in my own bed that night. She said she was there and would call me if anything happened. When I got there the next morning my mom and dad were arguing in her bathroom. I walked in and mom was digging blood clots out of her mouth at the sink and yelling at my dad to go to work, "I'm fine, Richard!" I wish you could here her say his name....too funny!
Got mom cleaned up and back in the bed. I had to change the towel under her face often because of the amount of blood she was leaking. She wasn't coughing up blood, just leaking out of her mouth. I called her two power of attorney(s). Yes she had appointed two friends so no one in the family would have to make the decision about life support. She didn't want it and thought we would be too emotional and want her on it. They came to visit and suggested I call Hospice to come check her. That afternoon mom and I had a great talk. She wasn't scared. She was ready to go to Heaven. She wanted us to be strong and she said she would be with us always. By the time the hospice nurse got there things were bad. Mom was crawling around on the bed on her hands and knees, she wouldn't be still. We kept having to change her because of all the blood. She wouldn't take any pain medicine or anything to help calm her down. She kept telling us that this was something she had to do. We were all there, the family praying out loud for God to go ahead and take her home. Take her out of this pain and misery she physically in. She finally calmed down and laid down on her left side and told us she was going to get on the train now.
I was physically and mentally whipped. I walked out of the room to go get some air on the back porch. The nurse was there to get me only after a few minutes. When I got back to the room mom was lying, still. I crawled in the bed with her and told her it was OK. That we were all there and loved her and that it was OK for her to leave us. She gasped for a breath and said, "they're gonna let me in." She was gone...
I laid there with her for an hour. Hugging her and praying to God for him to take all the strength that she had had all her life and give it to me. They made me get up so they could clean her body up and take her away. I slept in her bed that night and it was the best sleep I had had in weeks.
I spent a long time after that being mad at God. Why my mother? Why didn't you fix her? What am I suppose to do now?
God showed me, in the summer of 2009, the answer to my why and how He worked good from my mother's death. My mom was done with what she was on this earth for. She had raised her children to be strong independent adults and seen her grandchildren born. She had given all of her love and wanted nothing in return. She had taught us all of the lessons a mom needs to teach a child. I went thru the chemo and last days of her life with her to become stronger and to have that knowledge when my friend Brooke was diagnosed with two brain tumors. I now try not to take things for granted as much and live my life with no regrets. I know that I will see mom again one day in Heaven and know that she is there with me when I need her now. I know how much more important it is to strengthen my relationship with God. I know I have to avoid the things and people that get in the way of that. Because I know He let her in, and she is there waiting on me.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Beloved Beauties
I have been in and out of church for years. All during that time I have been told that I just have a need to belong to something. That I wasn't seeking God or a religion, I just needed to belong to a group.
Tonight I realized that both are true. I strive to have a closer relationship with God daily. And I, personally, need one to help grow the other. And it is OK to want to belong to a group of like minded people. God wants us to fellowship and worship with our church family.
Tonight I realized how thankful I am for the Beloved Beauties. A group of women from different walks of life, different ages, different places. But we are all seeking the same thing. A closer relationship with God. But to me, the most important thing is listening to others share. Realizing I'm not the only one that has doubts, worries, anger, self pity, guilt. These women help remind me that God loves me DESPITE all of my short comings.
I posted on Facebook yesterday: If you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday, what would you have? Tonight I am reminded to thank God for these women daily! Not only for their prayers but just for the accepting me for who I am and reminding me that God loves me for who I am as well.
So I am glad I have a need to belong to a group. I am glad that Tory Brown pointed me in the direction of the Beloved Beauties. And I thank God for each and every Beauty in the group.
Tonight I realized that both are true. I strive to have a closer relationship with God daily. And I, personally, need one to help grow the other. And it is OK to want to belong to a group of like minded people. God wants us to fellowship and worship with our church family.
Tonight I realized how thankful I am for the Beloved Beauties. A group of women from different walks of life, different ages, different places. But we are all seeking the same thing. A closer relationship with God. But to me, the most important thing is listening to others share. Realizing I'm not the only one that has doubts, worries, anger, self pity, guilt. These women help remind me that God loves me DESPITE all of my short comings.
I posted on Facebook yesterday: If you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday, what would you have? Tonight I am reminded to thank God for these women daily! Not only for their prayers but just for the accepting me for who I am and reminding me that God loves me for who I am as well.
So I am glad I have a need to belong to a group. I am glad that Tory Brown pointed me in the direction of the Beloved Beauties. And I thank God for each and every Beauty in the group.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Preparing My Heart
Lately God has been laying on my heart to ask forgiveness from people I may have wronged in some way. I have felt like He is preparing my heart for something.
This was in my devotion today...Once you know that your heart is right before God, you must be willing to face your fear and seize the moment. When your're in a moment that has the potential to alter your future, trust God, step out in faith and move forward. Don't let your dream die inside you because of the risk involved. With God, risk is the bridge that gets you to where He wants you to be.
Tonight at church we were asked to pray for a young girl going to live in southern Mexico for a couple of years. Justin said she would be the "bridge" that brings God to the people there.
Risk the bridge...so that He gets you where He wants you...
I found out tonight that CRASH will be going to Kenya and Chicago the summer of 2012. I really feel like God is calling me to one of these trips. I wake up at night with Kenya on my mind. I visit the mattaw village site often. I have been making prayer bracelets so others will be reminded to pray for Kenya. We are making cotton dish rags to sell to raise money for Kenya...
Lord, are you leading me to Kenya? To tell a child that they are a prince/princess of God. That God loves them so much that His son died for our sin debt. That they are special and God knew before they were born, that we would meet them and share His love with them.
Friends....pray for Mattaw Village. Pray for Kenya
This was in my devotion today...Once you know that your heart is right before God, you must be willing to face your fear and seize the moment. When your're in a moment that has the potential to alter your future, trust God, step out in faith and move forward. Don't let your dream die inside you because of the risk involved. With God, risk is the bridge that gets you to where He wants you to be.
Tonight at church we were asked to pray for a young girl going to live in southern Mexico for a couple of years. Justin said she would be the "bridge" that brings God to the people there.
Risk the bridge...so that He gets you where He wants you...
I found out tonight that CRASH will be going to Kenya and Chicago the summer of 2012. I really feel like God is calling me to one of these trips. I wake up at night with Kenya on my mind. I visit the mattaw village site often. I have been making prayer bracelets so others will be reminded to pray for Kenya. We are making cotton dish rags to sell to raise money for Kenya...
Lord, are you leading me to Kenya? To tell a child that they are a prince/princess of God. That God loves them so much that His son died for our sin debt. That they are special and God knew before they were born, that we would meet them and share His love with them.
Friends....pray for Mattaw Village. Pray for Kenya
Monday, October 3, 2011
Blessed
I am BLESSED with the dearest, christian friends. And they put up with me and encourage me on a daily basis. They always have an ear to listen and often have a word to encourage or lead me to God's word for a lesson. I have been worrying, even complaining about God not working on an issue in my life the way "I" wanted him to. I kept praying for God to fix it, heal it, take care of it. Oh yeah, and do it NOW, please.
Gerri told me something last week that finally sunk in. She said maybe I needed to change the way I was praying about the situation. So, I started praying for the Lord to show ME how I could help the situation. What could I do to make a difference. How could He use me to fix it. My new plan of prayer started Wednesday night.
Friday night after our Homecoming football game, Caleb and I watched Facing the Giants. God showed me thru this movie a way to help.
Saturday morning, we all got up and spent the day together working around the house and yards as a family. All 5 of us. It was a good day.
I seem to get carried away and forget that God is in control. I say I believe in him, but do I live it out in EVERYTHING I do - no! God can't work thru me if others can't see God in me. That was re-emphasized during Courageous yesterday afternoon. And again, we got things painted, moved, shampooed - as a family.
I am BLESSED. And I am glad I stepped back to see it. I praise God for my blessings! I pray that He will continue to work in me so others see Him "poking out" of me.
Gerri told me something last week that finally sunk in. She said maybe I needed to change the way I was praying about the situation. So, I started praying for the Lord to show ME how I could help the situation. What could I do to make a difference. How could He use me to fix it. My new plan of prayer started Wednesday night.
Friday night after our Homecoming football game, Caleb and I watched Facing the Giants. God showed me thru this movie a way to help.
Saturday morning, we all got up and spent the day together working around the house and yards as a family. All 5 of us. It was a good day.
I seem to get carried away and forget that God is in control. I say I believe in him, but do I live it out in EVERYTHING I do - no! God can't work thru me if others can't see God in me. That was re-emphasized during Courageous yesterday afternoon. And again, we got things painted, moved, shampooed - as a family.
I am BLESSED. And I am glad I stepped back to see it. I praise God for my blessings! I pray that He will continue to work in me so others see Him "poking out" of me.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Mary and Martha's other Sister
This morning my Drawing Room actually ended up being my car. I loaded everything in, started the car and reach for to turn on the radio, and then didn't. The Lord was calling me. I was at a place where I could really listen this morning.
Since I started this bible study I have been trying to decide if I am Mary or Martha. Well today I realized that there is a redheaded sister that the bible doesn't mention. I named her Matty. She is not the the hospitality queen of Martha nor Mary, the one bold enough to sit at the feet of Jesus. Matty is insecure, scared, lazy, worried, and weak.
I am Matty.
This morning, God said "Matty (He likes my new nickname), didn't I give you the peace to have a good night's sleep last night after the day you had. How many times do I have to tell you I got this." Well, evidently He has to tell me at least 7 times a day. But you know what else He told me? If it is 7 or 7000 times a day, He is there. He is NOT going to leave me.
Thank you God! For loving an insecure, scared, lazy, worried, and weak girl. Thank you for picking up the pieces when I fall apart (which seems to be often lately). Thank you for gently reminding me in the mornings that You are there, and thumping me in the head when I need it. Thank you for blessing me with the family and friends in my life. In Your strong, brave, loving name I pray.....Amen
Have a blessed day!
Since I started this bible study I have been trying to decide if I am Mary or Martha. Well today I realized that there is a redheaded sister that the bible doesn't mention. I named her Matty. She is not the the hospitality queen of Martha nor Mary, the one bold enough to sit at the feet of Jesus. Matty is insecure, scared, lazy, worried, and weak.
I am Matty.
This morning, God said "Matty (He likes my new nickname), didn't I give you the peace to have a good night's sleep last night after the day you had. How many times do I have to tell you I got this." Well, evidently He has to tell me at least 7 times a day. But you know what else He told me? If it is 7 or 7000 times a day, He is there. He is NOT going to leave me.
Thank you God! For loving an insecure, scared, lazy, worried, and weak girl. Thank you for picking up the pieces when I fall apart (which seems to be often lately). Thank you for gently reminding me in the mornings that You are there, and thumping me in the head when I need it. Thank you for blessing me with the family and friends in my life. In Your strong, brave, loving name I pray.....Amen
Have a blessed day!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Leaving the rest to God
I start the day in the Drawing Room with quiet time, I listen to Good Morning while getting dressed and driving to work, By 10:00am I am wallowing in in the misery that is my life. Funny how the devil knows the weaknesses we have and continues to poke at them until the balloon is popped and I have deflated.
So I spend the next 6 or so hours with my "friends", worry, anxiety, and depression. And I invite others into my misery (my friends are truly blessings in my life). Anyone that will listen. And when telling a friend about a email signature I saw, the I get the thump in the head again. The signature read
So I spend the next 6 or so hours with my "friends", worry, anxiety, and depression. And I invite others into my misery (my friends are truly blessings in my life). Anyone that will listen. And when telling a friend about a email signature I saw, the I get the thump in the head again. The signature read
Live Simply
Love Generously
Care Deeply
Speak Kindly
Leave the rest to God
DUH! It's a wonder I don't have a permanent dent in my forehead from the God thumping me as He says, told you so! And then I picture the Told Ya So dance in my head (can't remember what TV show or movie that was from).
Moral of the story....God is always there to patch the balloon when we get a weak spot.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
All We Need is Love, and the "Drawing Room"
My bible study group agreed to keep each other accountable and encourage them to have quiet time with the Lord every morning. So I get up this morning, let the dog out, feed him, get coffee and sit down. Where do I begin? Do I just flip to a passage in the bible and start? So I sat here, and sat, and saw a book on the bookshelf that may be of some help, First Cup Devotions for Women. The bookmark was halfway in the book, but I decided to start over. Day 1 - It all starts with God. I'm thinking good choice Sharon. God is telling me, you didn't pick this, I did. And so I read. The I realized it really is just that simple. "Our ultimate aim in life is not to be healthy, wealthy, prosperous, or problem free. Our ultimate aim in life is to bring glory to God" Anne Graham Lotz. How many things throughout my day bring glory to God? How many things make Him cringe? In the field that I work in it is not easy to show God's love to the person on the other end of the phone screaming at you because they lost 4 months of data, or the software has changed and they don't like it. But I empathize, and try to make the best out of every situation, even as if there is anything else I can assist them with. Then I hang up the call and either mumble to myself or tell my neighbor what a grump they were, or how hateful there words were. Is that showing God's love? NOPE I should just hang up the phone and say a prayer for that person before I go on to the next caller.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is Love 1 John 4:8
Now, I don't have to like what someone has said to me, but I can show them God's love by not arguing back, or in the case of work, not talking about them after the call. I can pray that the person will come to know God and feel His love in them. I truly can't understand why someone would want to walk around with so much anger in them. Why would they not seek the love of God? Why do people want to live in an angry, darkness in their hearts?
This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all 1 John 1:5
That love is all we need. And when we have it, and nurture it, it spills out of us and glorifies our Lord. And then we have joy in our lives. I pray that I continue to go to the "Drawing Room" to feed my soul with goodness from His word. That love fills me and my deeds glorify my God. That darkness stays far away from my soul.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is Love 1 John 4:8
Now, I don't have to like what someone has said to me, but I can show them God's love by not arguing back, or in the case of work, not talking about them after the call. I can pray that the person will come to know God and feel His love in them. I truly can't understand why someone would want to walk around with so much anger in them. Why would they not seek the love of God? Why do people want to live in an angry, darkness in their hearts?
This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all 1 John 1:5
That love is all we need. And when we have it, and nurture it, it spills out of us and glorifies our Lord. And then we have joy in our lives. I pray that I continue to go to the "Drawing Room" to feed my soul with goodness from His word. That love fills me and my deeds glorify my God. That darkness stays far away from my soul.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Blessings for YaYa's
I have a YAYA group of friends at work. I would do anything in this world for these friends. They have seen me and YaYa SU Cindy thru my surgery, and her hospital stay this year. And now they each have a need for prayer. Had a hard time thinking about what to specifically pray for each one, then I ran across this song by Laura Story.
We pray for blessings We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity W
e pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears What if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You’re near What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguiseYaYa PP-Potty keeps saying not to cry, but what if her healing comes through tears?
YaYa Short Legs may have to spend 1000 sleepless nights to know that He is near
YaYa Frank, I know the trials of this life are His mercies in disguise for you.
I love all of you with all of my heart!
We pray for blessings
Saturday, September 17, 2011
I GOT THIS...
I was reminded tonight after a nice pity party, that God's got this. And by "this," I mean EVERYTHING. I continually pray for certain things to be done now, with God's blessings of course. Well, I ever so blatantly had it spelled out for me tonight. We are not working on my agenda, no matter how hard I pray or try to do it by myself. God is making the agenda and I need to pray that I am willing to follow wherever He leads me, and in His time. I think that is the part I struggle with the most. Sometimes I even try to "make a deal." Lord, please just give me a little sign, a smoke signal, a shooting star, something. Funny thing....he keeps telling me I GOT THIS, all I need from you is for your to show others who I am thru your actions everyday. All you need to do is concentrate on your relationship with me, plain and simple. Put Me first, I got the rest.
So tonight I go to Lord in thanksgiving. I am thankful for my growing relationship with Him, for my family nad friends, very thankful for my church family, and thankful that He's got this....cause I'm making a horrible mess of it by myself. But I also know that He loves me despite myself, just as I am.
So tonight I go to Lord in thanksgiving. I am thankful for my growing relationship with Him, for my family nad friends, very thankful for my church family, and thankful that He's got this....cause I'm making a horrible mess of it by myself. But I also know that He loves me despite myself, just as I am.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
How does your foot taste?
I think I should start praying for God to keep my foot out of my mouth, because my foot doesn't taste so good. I say I am a changed person, now trying to walk closer to God and strengthen my relationship with Him. But I continue to fly off the handle and I am tired of tasting my foot, from it being placed ever so obviously, in my mouth. I pray for patience, understanding, compassion, and react in the totally opposite way. What kind of example is that? Sometimes I think there is a short between my brain and my mouth. I can just picture God looking down and saying, "here we go again, open up so I can get the foot out of your mouth." The one thing I know for sure, is that He still loves me and knows that I will continue to get my foot stuck in my mouth (hopefully not as often). How thankful I am for the forgiveness that was given to me by Jesus' sacrifice!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Spiritual Oompa-Loompas
Funny how God speaks to us. In a world where people are continually trying to change the face of Christianity to be new, fun, cool. Bright lights, bands, fireworks...I love the way Joanna Weaver describes it. "We are not spiritual Ooompa-Loompas in some cosmic chocolate factory, working night and day to churn out a smoother, better-tasting Christianity." She states also that we may be trying to "improve" Christianity because we don't want to leave our comfort zones. We feel uneasy, don't want to get too emotional, or just don't slow down enough to give time to your relationship with Christ.
So, today as I was sitting in the doctor's office I realized that God doesn't want a brighter, bigger, better-tasting, cookie cutter Christian. He wants to have a fellowship with us. "There is no need to lay aside your intellect or your personality when you enter the Living Room. Just come as you are. As a child of God." Just as I am... nerdy, theater loving, balding, sarcastic, emotional me!
And......I LOVE that He used Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory to break it down to me!
So, today as I was sitting in the doctor's office I realized that God doesn't want a brighter, bigger, better-tasting, cookie cutter Christian. He wants to have a fellowship with us. "There is no need to lay aside your intellect or your personality when you enter the Living Room. Just come as you are. As a child of God." Just as I am... nerdy, theater loving, balding, sarcastic, emotional me!
And......I LOVE that He used Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory to break it down to me!
Monday, September 12, 2011
New Journey - New Friends
Tonight I embark on a new journey of spiritual growth. I am attending a ladies bible study at my church. I am excited to see how the Lord will work in my life thru this study. I am nervous that I am not as knowledgeable about the bible. I am worried about entering a room of women that I really don't know. I am nervous to let new people into my life. But I have learned from reading to catch up, that my nervousness and worrying are counter productive and harmful. I know that God has led me to this group of people for reasons I may never know. But they are all good reasons. So I tell myself not to worry, and thank God for leading me to this group. I thank God for Amy, Jessica, Diana, Sherry, and the other women that have already befriended me. I know it will be another wonderful experience on my journey to learn more about, and walk closer with Christ.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Fried Chicken and Jesus
During the school year our church serves Wednesday night supper. Once a month we normally have fried chicken. My Papa Toby is the chicken fryer. Papa Toby accepted a new position about a month ago that was not going to fit in with Fried Chicken Wednesdays. But to our surprise, we found out Monday that he would be off in time to cook his famous fried chicken (per the request of one Mr. Rick Luhrs). We had more people last night than I have seen in a very long time. I enjoyed seeing all the faces come thru the line, smiling and happy to be there. I also saw plates coming back into the kitchen with tons of food left on them (mostly the side dishes and desserts). Seems people just want the chicken and not the other nutritious food. Makes me wonder if that is how we are handling the relationship with Jesus. We want the parts that make us happy and smile, but don't want to live the parts that are good for us because people may look at us strange, or we might not be cool living for Christ. Justin put it simple last night. We can smile and do good deeds (show up for chicken night), but are we living, wanting, striving for a relationship with Christ? Showing up for fried chicken is nice, but isn't going to get us into Heaven. We have to seek the relationship with God. Accept that Christ has taken away any and all baggage that we have been carrying around. That God loves us! Strive everyday to show others God thru the way we live our lives. For some people we encounter, the God we show them may be the only way they have ever seen Him.
It's pretty simple really...if we have faith and know that God sent His son Jesus to die on the cross to pay for our sin debt, seek a personal relationship with Him, and live your life so others see Him thru you. I know it has changed my life for good during this past year. And all I had to do was to invite God into my heart...he's been sitting there waiting all this time.
It's pretty simple really...if we have faith and know that God sent His son Jesus to die on the cross to pay for our sin debt, seek a personal relationship with Him, and live your life so others see Him thru you. I know it has changed my life for good during this past year. And all I had to do was to invite God into my heart...he's been sitting there waiting all this time.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
God's will for my life
Last night Justin was telling our youth that God does have a will for our lives and it is no secret. When he asked who wanted to know what God's will for them was, everyone in the room raised their hands. I know that personally, I wasn't thinking of what God wanted, but what I wanted to know about my physical life. How many grand children would I have, would I ever go to Alaska...that kind of thing.
But those are not God's will for us. God's will is simple, live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work...have string to stick it out over the long haul...strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us (maybe Alaska - the beautiful things part).
I have been striving to be a more Godly woman. It is hard and some days I do better than others. It is rather hard living in a home where everyone does not share the same faith. But I also know that I cannot let the lack of faith others have influence me, I have to do what is right for me and for Caleb. I am starting to "do" what God wants for me. I find myself not nearly as worried with worldly things that can bog down people day to day. I look forward to finding what out where this road will take me, and I know I will in His time as long as I continue to do good, learn, be strong, and thank Him.
But those are not God's will for us. God's will is simple, live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work...have string to stick it out over the long haul...strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us (maybe Alaska - the beautiful things part).
I have been striving to be a more Godly woman. It is hard and some days I do better than others. It is rather hard living in a home where everyone does not share the same faith. But I also know that I cannot let the lack of faith others have influence me, I have to do what is right for me and for Caleb. I am starting to "do" what God wants for me. I find myself not nearly as worried with worldly things that can bog down people day to day. I look forward to finding what out where this road will take me, and I know I will in His time as long as I continue to do good, learn, be strong, and thank Him.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Back to Reality
It's 3:21 on Monday afternoon. It is also my first day back to work since my spinal cord stimulator was implanted in my spine. The morning went pretty well, but around lunch time I had some pain that now is just lingering no matter what program I use. I wonder if it has anything to do with someone taking my chair from my desk while I was out. My name tag was still on the wall, my computer and all my personal stuff still on my desk, and someone took my chair. The chair I have had since 2005. Bad thing is all the chairs that are left are broken. so here I sit in a conference room straight chair, with a bad back/neck. I know I shouldn't complain, but I am. I think it is another example of people not respecting others (or their things). Probably the same person that ate all my string cheese (had my name on it) from the refrigerator several months ago. I posted Proverbs 15:15 today. It says people with a miserable heart are miserable and people with a cheerful heart fill the days with song. Think I will sing a song about the chair thief, Rant complete!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Watching others change
My son is changing before my eyes. Yes he is taller, voice is deeper, room is a little cleaner. But that is not the changes I have noticed this week. The week I have noticed more of... The notes I find in his room are prayers. The books by his bed are his Bible and a book from church camp. The card he wants to put in his wallet, more prayers.
It has been wonderful to watch him grow in his relationship with Christ. I wish I could individually thank all the other kids at EBC Crash that have taken time with Caleb and been good role models.
I am truly blessed by my church family. I don't know why I waited as long as I did to join this family of believers, guess I was sorta afraid of Change. I hope that he can continue to see changes in me that will make him want to continue to pray, learn, love.
It has been wonderful to watch him grow in his relationship with Christ. I wish I could individually thank all the other kids at EBC Crash that have taken time with Caleb and been good role models.
I am truly blessed by my church family. I don't know why I waited as long as I did to join this family of believers, guess I was sorta afraid of Change. I hope that he can continue to see changes in me that will make him want to continue to pray, learn, love.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Changed for Good...
I selected that phrase as the title of my blog because of my mother. Last week she should have celebrated her wedding anniversary with my father. Next month she should be celebrating her 66th birthday. But will do neither here on this earth because of Cancer. I used to be mad at her because I knew that she knew her body and by the time she decided to go to the doctor and have tests, her body was being devoured by Cancer. I used to be mad at God for letting her get Cancer. But I have come to realize that God and mom had a plan all along. There plan was to change me to a better person. Better mother, wife, friend. In a better place in my life to help others, to do the right thing for the right reasons, not for "show." To lead me back to God. I know he never left me, but I surely was ignoring Him.
I treasure the many many years my mother and I would watch the Wizard of Oz together, even as an adult. And, I was thrilled with the book Wicked and then the Play, and the CD. When mom got sick and we knew that it was not God's plan to keep her here, we prayed for Him to take her quickly. I kinda felt guilty about that, but one day listening to my Wicked CD, these lyrics made me feel ok with my decision.
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
She wasn't just my mom, she was my best friend as well. I didn't want her to suffer. I didn't want her to leave. But I realized that she would forever be with me because she is that handprint on my heart.
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better
And because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...
I treasure the many many years my mother and I would watch the Wizard of Oz together, even as an adult. And, I was thrilled with the book Wicked and then the Play, and the CD. When mom got sick and we knew that it was not God's plan to keep her here, we prayed for Him to take her quickly. I kinda felt guilty about that, but one day listening to my Wicked CD, these lyrics made me feel ok with my decision.
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
She wasn't just my mom, she was my best friend as well. I didn't want her to suffer. I didn't want her to leave. But I realized that she would forever be with me because she is that handprint on my heart.
I've heard it saidThat people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better
And because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Pain
Pain is a feeling triggered in the nervous system. Pain may be sharp or dull. It may come and go, or it may be constant. Constant. CONSTANT.
Constant pain can lead to Xrays, CT scans, MRIs, steroid shots, surgery, more shots,and a trial spinal cord stimulator.
If you have the flu or a virus, people can relate to that and empathize. It is hard for people to understand or empathize with pain caused by something that can't be seen. It's not like I have a broken bone with a cast or a cut or even a bruise. "Everyone has pain, it is part of growing older." "You just need to deal with the fact that you may hurt some for the rest of your life."
NO! This isn't that kind of pain. Yes, I have the getting older aches and pains when I stay in bed too long or spend a day walking in bad shoes. But this pain is not the kind of pain you just deal with. How do you explain that when there is nothing visible? It is very frustrating and depressing.
I thank God for my wonderful pain management doctor. I am thankful for all the tests that shows them what is going on in my body.I am thankful for the people that invented the spinal cord stimulator. I am hopeful that I can have it permanently because, in my case, it works! I am looking forward to a life with less pain.
Constant pain can lead to Xrays, CT scans, MRIs, steroid shots, surgery, more shots,and a trial spinal cord stimulator.
If you have the flu or a virus, people can relate to that and empathize. It is hard for people to understand or empathize with pain caused by something that can't be seen. It's not like I have a broken bone with a cast or a cut or even a bruise. "Everyone has pain, it is part of growing older." "You just need to deal with the fact that you may hurt some for the rest of your life."
NO! This isn't that kind of pain. Yes, I have the getting older aches and pains when I stay in bed too long or spend a day walking in bad shoes. But this pain is not the kind of pain you just deal with. How do you explain that when there is nothing visible? It is very frustrating and depressing.
I thank God for my wonderful pain management doctor. I am thankful for all the tests that shows them what is going on in my body.I am thankful for the people that invented the spinal cord stimulator. I am hopeful that I can have it permanently because, in my case, it works! I am looking forward to a life with less pain.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Lessons learned at the Gilreath Hilton
I have been self conscious of my lack of hair all of my life. Each decade it would get worse. I have seen the end result in my Granny and her sisters, but was so afraid to try anything out of my comfort zone. Well last Wednesday, God put @Sherrie Gilreath in my life. I went to Second Baptist Church in Griffin, GA to do some ACS Training. Little did I know the big changes God had in store for me. These people welcomed me into their church with handshakes and hugs. I felt right at home. We visited some and then got down to the task at hand. Pulling up out of the "trouble" books that had been handed down from the past Financial Secretary. I worked with Sherrie and Lynnette and we made quick work of reorganizing the COA and streamlining PR Adjustments that had been pages and pages long before. Showed them a few tricks for doing, lets say just one check on the fly. Also got them updated to the most recent version and with all the tax table changes, Pastor Ron seemed to have an even bigger smile on his face when we explained all that to him. And then God used them to minister to me. To make me know what the shreds of hair that i was hanging onto on the top of my head did not define me. That could be let go and I could let the Sharon I felt on the inside be seen on the outside of me. So I did it. With the help of my new friends, we went down to the wig store Wednesday with me a balding woman an I came with a full head of hair. Met the new people at the church the next day as the new me....no one laughed......maybe i an do this. Flew home on friday and noboby laughed....this is getting easier. Went to dinner party Friday night with some friends, nobody laughed.....hmmmm....maybe i will be ok. So Saturday morning i woke up an shaved the little hair i had left off of my head. It was kinda sad that it all fit in one of my hands. But it was FREEING. That crappy hair will not define me as a woman! I felt very welcomed by my church family today as well. It is just so nice to feel like a girl again after all these years, to feel feminine.
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